My neighbor just had some MAJOR bush-hogging done today. I’m talking MAJOR. They uncovered and stirred up a couple of Copperhead (ambush predators) nests. They killed some, but most of ‘em slinked toward the Stretchengetti. Problem is, it’s fall, and you can’t see ‘em…they blend in with the fallen leaves, and Stretch will get all up on one if he senses it. Not good. He doesn’t know. Not good at all. I would rather have the Mexican drug cartels in my back yard than Copperheads. Damn. Even a small Copperhead could kill Stretch in a second. This is fucked up. It doesn’t matter if I downshift to 8.5 in my shotgun…It’ll be too late before I can blast one. They are naturally camouflaged…you can’t see ‘em, but Stretch can sense ‘em.
Shit, they’re on the loose. I kid you not, this ain’t funny. It is damn near impossible to find a Copperhead in the fall. A small one can be fatal to a human, but a small dog is done. The thing about Stretch…he will find ‘em…no doubt about it…and he’ll get bitten…and he will die. I’m not gonna let that happen.
Fuck it, I need a Mongoose. But, since I don’t have one, I’m moving to plan B, which is covering Stretch’s ass. Can’t run wild on his Stretchengetti without a leash until I’m comfortable. I’m also wearing high boots when I go on patrol, and taking a shotgun with me. I fucking hate snakes.
I’ll probably never see one, but I can tell you for certain Stretch will. I am his protector. At least, I had some warning.
Stretch’s first kill was a snake…non-poisonous…but a snake all the same. Copperheads are a whole different ballgame.
10 Comments
The best thing is they are sluggish in the cold/cool autumn air. And also they really do want to avoid confrontation. Carry a stick and make some noise. Also- we put bells on our dogs and only lost one hound to a Copperhead bite. Trust me, I came from Copperhead country. I should write about the day I found myself surrounded by dozens sunning themselves.
I know what you mean. The bell is a great idea, I didn’t consider that. I’m gonna do it. I grew up around Copperheads and Water Moccasins, and those damn Cottonmouths are some aggressive Juju.
Yet another reason for Stick Science.
I once was bushhoggin’ (mowing on a tractor) and stopped, jumped off the tractor without looking and landed in a den of Black Racers, as in snakes, not Carl Lewis and his teammates. They chased me, lunging at me as I ran screaming like a little girl. I had on tall boots, and they’re not poisonous, but they still scared me. Agressive fuckers for non-poisonous.
Also, I hate a damn Water Moccasin. Those sonsabitches come straight for you with nothing ut murder in their beady lil eyes..
Ha! I just noticed you do know what bushhoggin’ is! I have to explain it to everyone here. Damn city slickers.
I guess we’re both hicks. Could be worse. We need some Hick Whores. I like the sound of that. Get busy and hire ‘em up….we’ve got a payroll to meet. The Mayor told me we need more cash flow because…we just do. I think Hick Whores will sell well.
Hell yes, A Water Moccasin will kill your ass dead. I should post the story about the one that got my buddy instead of me when we were about two feet apart in a creek. He lived, but was in pretty bad shape during his week in the hospital. I double fucking hate snakes.
I’ve also had some experience with Black Racers…those fuckers are fast, and grow long. Almost have to go full tilt jog to keep up with one. I guess, a Black Racer, is the largest longest snake I’ve ever come across in North America. They are fast!!! I guess that’s why they call ‘em racers. No shit!. I’ve seen some huge ones before.
I don’t kill every snake I see, but I cook and eat every snake I kill. I want their essence to waft from my every pore; I want them to know that I am their doom.
Fuck with me, Mr. Snake, and I will shit your evil intentions upon the ground upon which you once slithered.
I’ve yet to sew up a set of footwear made of Water Moccasains, but the poetery of it…. draws me.
Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX
You need to get a pair of Water Moccasains. Way too comfortable.
snake plissken