Probation – Early Release – Nope

My dog Stretch is always in trouble. He is as mischievous as a dog can be. He learns, he works it out, he is a problem solver. He’s very creative and a smart dog. He also has the “LOOK” down. The “poker face”, some might say.

Yesterday, I received a call from the Juju Woman…she was “broken down” on the side of the road in a BAD neighborhood. I’m talking a crack-dealing-crack-whore neighborhood about forty minutes away. She gets the wrecker on the way, I’m on the way, but before I left I gave the Juju Crib a once-over to ensure it was Stretch proofed. Like, ensuring all the chairs for the dining room table are “scooted” in as far as they’ll go. That damn Stretch loves to get on top of tables. Closed the doors to my office, and to the back of the house.

I left a loaf of Pumpernickel bread in the middle of the dining room table, and broke to rescue the Juju Woman. Turns out, some rod attached to the front axle broke. Now, this is a nice ride…but shit happens. We don’t drive junkers. Anyway, I’ll get it back tomorrow. No problem, she can drive mine, and I don’t have to deal with some rental car bullshit, the insurance company picks up the (rental) tab, but it’s still a pain in the ass. I’m dug in for the duration. No big deal. My Nook has a full clip.

This is what he did: He smelled the bread and realized he couldn’t get on the table top. So, he grabbed the table cloth and jerked / pulled it until the loaf was within his reach. He launched, pulled the bread off the table, and ate it. He figured it out. I admit, I admire his reasoning skill, but he fucked up my sandwich plans.

So, Stretch was currently on probation for some shenanigans he pulled off last week, and now his sentence has been extended. No time off for time served. He’s looking at hard time.

Here he is practicing the Saturn V launch and grab.

I am the Sherriff, Judge, and Jury in my world.