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April 30, 2006
Yabunizing Women
If you could keep me floating just for a while, I'll explain Yabu's "Scale of the Good Thing". It's really quite simple: He respects most girls, and never talks about one as if she is a piece of meat, but he is reversed so to speak
Scale of the Good Thing:
Bitch: is a good thing, especially if you’re the number one Bitch. There can be only one.
Bitches: is a good thing if you’re riding those bitches around all night.
Sweetie: is just below Bitch, and a huge compliment.
Baby: is just below Sweetie, and never taken lightly.
Skank: well a Skank is just a Skank. More on that later.
And if you are called by your given name, it means you haven't joined the club. Which might be a good thing, or it might not. Depends on you.
I am Anjin, and I will be back later.
Posted by at 08:17 PM | The Present | Comments (0) | TrackBack
I Am Anjin...
...Yabu's Guide. Although our backgrounds are very different, we have much in common. I was born from a much more traditional environment than Yabu. I am a Pilot in the purest sense. All I want and need is to guide. I receive no personal gratification from other peoples misfortune. I am loyal, and believe in honor. I am his friend...to the end. We have shared everything, except his women. He has saved my life, as I have his. We make a good team. I'll be around from time to time.
I also know Dominique and Simone...they are dangerous, but dangerous in a good way. Sometimes…most of the time. Anyway, his Voodoo Woman has the Juju. She has the Juju.
Women have an intuition that make men whole, and men feed that intuition, which allows all to become whole. Never underestimate a woman. Yabu taught me this.
Yabu is right, and you would do well to remember that.
He is also fucking crazy!!!
Posted by at 01:36 PM | General | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Cocobolo
I had some custom Nunchakus made out of this.
..."the reach of the nunchaku is often underestimated, even by those experienced with its use"....
No shit!!!
My elbows are going to hate me...
Posted by Yabu at 12:23 AM | The Present | Comments (0) | TrackBack
April 29, 2006
The Escape Hatch
Bwahahahahahhhhh!!!!!!
DAMN!!!
Posted by Yabu at 11:17 AM | The Past | Comments (2) | TrackBack
April 28, 2006
Drunk Tsuba
A Tsuba is a sword hand guard.
This one is called Wrestling A Bottle Of Sake, and is for all you people where I am not!!!
Be cool with it…and remember there’s not anything like a Syrian modified Soviet T-72.
Posted by Yabu at 11:25 PM | General | Comments (2) | TrackBack
April 27, 2006
What's Behind Me Is Not Important
Honma Magoshiro
He is the master of the horse.
Posted by Yabu at 12:23 AM | The Present | Comments (1)
April 26, 2006
Holy Dogshit, Texas!
Only steers and queers come from Texas, and you don't much look like a steer to me so that kind of narrows it down!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman in Full Metal Jacket
Bwah ha the fucking ha ha....
Posted by Yabu at 11:11 PM | The Future | Comments (2) | TrackBack
ps -ef | grep assholes
Yeap...I know some back stabbing motherfuckers.
That is all.
Posted by Yabu at 10:58 PM | The Present | Comments (1) | TrackBack
April 24, 2006
In Honor...
...of everyone heading down to Austin this weekend.
...of all you motherfuckers going to fucking Texas this fucking weekend.
I'm going to launch a rocket in your honor.
I'll be busting one single motherfucker out for you. This son of a bitch will be high, like you assholes.
Have a safe trip.
Bwahahahahfunkinghahaha!!!
Posted by Yabu at 11:19 PM | The Future | Comments (8) | TrackBack
April 23, 2006
West Texas Cowboy
A West Texas cowboy was herding his herd in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a Young Man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out The window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"
The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his AT&T cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, Where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, He receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his Hi-tech, miniaturized HP laserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You have Exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
"That's right, so I guess you can take one of my calves," says the cowboy.He then watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"
"You're a consultant for the National Democratic Party, says the Cowboy.
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
Read More »
Posted by Yabu at 08:27 PM | Humor | Comments (2) | TrackBack
April 22, 2006
From The Left
Posted by Yabu at 10:55 PM | Images | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Slowest Loading Blogs In The World
Anybody want to talk about that?
Just curious.
Posted by Yabu at 07:53 PM | The Present | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Death From Above
I want need one of these.
It will even shake a tail feather.
Posted by Yabu at 06:35 PM | Images | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Things That Go Burn In The Night
I awoke as I do every day...thank the Maker. My Bitch said she smelled something burning. Hell, we both smelled it, but couldn't find the source. I mean, the smell wasn't concentrated in any one room, but it damn sure smelled like my house was on fire. Not a good feeling. I thought, the fire is in the walls...we're fucked.
In my office I found this:
My cable modem...
and left speaker...and a printer...
...and I'll tell you...I never lost my broadband connectivity. I was still connected...no problem. Trust me, I tested it...stable.
Now that is some Juju.
Posted by Yabu at 05:49 PM | Images | Comments (7) | TrackBack
Sound Barrier
Posted by Yabu at 02:23 AM | General | Comments (0) | TrackBack
April 21, 2006
Time Is Short
Bob posted this link in the comments on this post. He's right, it is a good article.
Thanks my friend!
Posted by Yabu at 10:36 PM | The Present | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Sharon Is Gone
Roger and Charlie were fucked up. Hell, we were all fucked up. Sharon was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Sharon was a beautiful girl.
We’d all been doing shots of tequila and burning a few, mid afternoon, over at my friend Ed’s place. Roger, Charlie, and Sharon went out for some smokes, and after a while when they didn’t return…we went looking for ‘em.
We took the same route they would’ve taken to the store…nothing. We then headed to the place in the park where we all use to meet up.
Roger and Charlie were running toward us, and at that moment I knew this was bad. They were in shock, but not injured. Amazing.
Where was Sharon?
About a half-mile further down the road we saw Roger’s car. I ran to it like I’d never run before.
Sharon’s body was mangled between the tree they hit, and what was left of the car. We couldn’t get her out, and I knew immediately that she was dead.
I will never forget that.
I will never ever forget that.
That is some Bad Bad Juju.
Read More »
Posted by Yabu at 10:14 PM | The Past | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Nikuyoku
Posted by Yabu at 03:49 PM | The Present | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Up Or Upside Down
I want to fill my soul with my VoodooWoman...tell her everything I've been thinking deep inside, but she's about as independant as anyone I've ever known.
Anyway, we have another "business trip" comming up soon. As always, it will be interesting.
Posted by Yabu at 12:29 PM | Music | Comments (0) | TrackBack
April 20, 2006
The Myers - Briggs Type Indicator
“Whatever the circumstances of your life, the understanding of type can make your perceptions clearer, your judgments sounder, and your life closer to your heart’s desire�-Isabel Briggs Myers
I took the Myers - Briggs assessment many years ago, answered everything honestly, and the results nailed me to the T.
Now that is some Bad Bad Juju
Posted by Yabu at 11:40 AM | The Past | Comments (0) | TrackBack
The Nash Equilibrium
It's all about the math.
I am thinking about the problems we face if Iran goes nuclear, so, I was doing a little light reading tonight, and thought I would share some Juju with you.
The Nash Equilibrium is a kind of optimal collective strategy in a game involving two or more players, where no player has anything to gain by changing only his or her own strategy. If each player has chosen a strategy and no player can benefit by changing his or her strategy while the other players keep theirs unchanged, then the current set of strategy choices and the corresponding payoffs constitute a Nash equilibrium.
This made me think of Fail Safe, which, if (or when) it fails, fails in a way that will cause no harm or at least a minimum of harm to other devices or danger to personnel.
Which made me think about Fail Deadly, a concept which encourages deterrence by guaranteeing an immediate, automatic and overwhelming response to an attack.
Which made me think about Massive Retaliation, which is a military doctrine in which an entity commits itself to retaliate in much greater force in the event of an attack. For example, if country A launched a nuclear missile at country B, if country B were using the massive retaliation policy, country B would then be committed to launch 10 nuclear missiles against country A. The aim of this strategy is to deter an adversary from performing the initial attack. For it to work, it must not only be publically announced, but the adversary must believe that the entity announcing the policy has the capability and is willing to go through with it in the event of the attack.
Which made me think about Mutual Assured Destruction, which is the doctrine of military strategy in which a full scale use of nuclear weapons by one of two opposing sides would result in the destruction of both the attacker and the defender. It is based on the theory of deterrence according to which the deployment of strong weapons is essential to threaten the enemy in order to prevent the use of the very same weapons. It is also cited by gun control opponents as the reason why crime rates sometimes tend to be lower in heavily armed populations. The strategy is effectively a form of Nash Equilibrium, in which both sides are attempting to avoid their worst possible outcome--Nuclear Annihilation.
Which made me remember these are dangerous times we live in.
If the Islamofascist regime in Iran gets the bomb...we're all fucked.
Sweet dreams.
This is some Bad Bad Juju.
Posted by Yabu at 12:05 AM | Comments (5)
April 19, 2006
Yabu is fond of sharp edges.
As sure as night is dark and day is light.
My VoodooWoman carries one of these close to her good thing heart. I’ve seen her use it on more than one occasion, and trust me, she knows what she’s doing. Saved us several times. She has perfected going through the lower belly and severing the spine with one counterclockwise twist. Her targets feel the pain. It is intentional.
I’ve also seen her tickle people with it. I’ve also seen her make a Eunuch out of someone who asked the wrong questions, or too many. I think we were in China then. The first time. She has always done what was needed.
Reminds me of the first time we were in Iceland. We were in a bar in Seydhisfjordhur, waiting for a blonde haired blue eyed Viking to give us a roll of film, and he had other intentions. She saw through that immediately, and dispatched him. What a mess. I had to use the emergency satellite phone, and the next thing we knew we’re on a Zodiac, with some well trained young men, heading for a Los Angeles class attack submarine. Submarines are a quiet, slow, and relatively safe way to travel, but trying to board one in the cold North Atlantic from a rubber raft is just plain interesting. More interesting than that, is trying to get off one and into a Sea King helicopter. More interesting than that, is after we got on, it was way low on gas, and we had to do a mid-air refuel. The fucking pilot missed the basket at least ten times before we got full, but we made it. I thought she was going to gut him as well.
She was pissed!!!
More on this later.
Posted by Yabu at 03:05 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
April 18, 2006
I'm A Good Tipper
...if the food was horrible or you receive the wrong order, keep in mind that the waiter is the "messenger," and if he handles the situation properly, he should not suffer because of another staff member's mistake...
Fuck that: I say, "shoot the motherfucker."
Assholes like them should take a fucking bus.
Posted by Yabu at 05:58 PM | The Present | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Minamoto no Yorimitsu
(948-1021)
He is general of mid term of Heian era. The scene to which he fights with the monster "Shuten Doji" is drawn in this picture.
WTF!!!
Posted by Yabu at 01:58 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Austin Blog Meet
As much as I want to be there, it’s not going to happen. I’ve got too much on my plate to get on with 48 hours of sleep deprivation and a couple of beers. I just found out I’ve got some major Juju going on the Monday after…got to have my game face on, if you know what I mean. Can’t punt, 4th and goal, down by four, sudden death, with no time on the clock. It’ll take me most of the weekend to ensure I hit a home run, which I will do.
For those of you I know…I’ll miss you. For those of you I don’t know…I wish I did.
Sometimes you have to do what you have to do.
Slam one for me.
Posted by Yabu at 01:29 AM | The Future | Comments (9) | TrackBack
April 17, 2006
Catdaddy 8700
Review:
I haven't done one of these in a while, so it's about time I did.
The BlackBerry 8700 is a slow-dancing Mofo.
This "unit" is sweet...does everything and more, with no stick...everything is controlled by the "trackwheel"...which is downtown. You might ask how you can do everything without a stick, and I say it's all in the touch. This fucker will SSH to a secure box, and that says volumes.
I've tested played with some earlier models, which were cool, but not cool like this one.
Y'all should give it a test drive. Probably be obsolete by Friday though.
Posted by Yabu at 06:02 PM | The Present | Comments (0) | TrackBack
1956
... I Walk The Line...or something like that.
Posted by Yabu at 01:22 PM | Music | Comments (0) | TrackBack
April 16, 2006
Yuujou
Posted by Yabu at 09:47 PM | General | Comments (0) | TrackBack
April 15, 2006
Took Drunk
Took drunk with Redneck last night.
Giggled my shadow like...
Posted by Yabu at 04:05 PM | The Present | Comments (5) | TrackBack
April 12, 2006
Fishing
A really bad day of Fishing is always better than a good day at work... Who says ?
This is for Redneck and Marcus:
Read More »
Posted by Yabu at 11:40 AM | Humor | Comments (6) | TrackBack
April 11, 2006
The Only Difference...
...between an infant squirrel and an adult squirrel, is the size of the target.
Let the season begin and my garden prosper...the count sheet is on the wall.
So far, I'm two shots and two goners. Baby goners that is, which means my eye is keen after a few months off.
Two check marks this early on is a good thing.
No reason for the "blow of mercy".
.177 hollow points are some Bad Bad Juju.
Posted by Yabu at 05:12 PM | The Present | Comments (4) | TrackBack
April 10, 2006
54 Is Too Young To Die
Kikuchi Takemitsu (1319-1373)
He is general of Nanbokucho era, for Emperor with the whole group it fought in Kyushu land.
The scene which fights a decisive battle in the Chikugo river is drawn in this picture.
I would not fuck with Kikuchi Not at all.
Posted by Yabu at 01:09 PM | The Past | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Unexpected Guest
My good friend Redneck was passing by 7 hours into a 10 hour drive when he called and invited himself for a night of cold beers, grilled sausages, and a place to sleep. Actually, I insisted he stay. I did the inviting.
Redneck is a straight up guy, and is always welcome in my home. Always. Plus, my dog likes him.
See you on the flip flop good buddy!!!
Posted by Yabu at 11:42 AM | The Present | Comments (2)
April 08, 2006
The Only Pocket
We were in San Diego, and decided to drive about 3,600 miles up the coast road to Alaska. We didn’t make it all the way, but we did make it across the border into Canada, and up into the Yukon. 3,100 miles. That was a great drive, beautiful country.
About Seattle, we ran out of money and drugs. After a phone call home, our man was on a plane…loaded.
We had no trouble crossing into Canada, but trying to get back in the U.S. was a different story. We had some weed, some speed, and various other illegal substances. About an hour north of the border, we decided to stash the stash, so I wrapped a fat one, and we put everything else (felony resale amounts) in Baggies in milk cartons. We had a medium sized garbage can between the front seats in the van, so we carefully placed the cartons in the bottom, and threw a bunch of nasty shit on top. Canned Chili, sardines, sour milk, fast food trash, ashtray, piss, etc. I put the joint in the pocket of my jacket, and buttoned it.
We arrived at the border, and Customs immediately waved us over to the “we’re going to search your ass� spot. The Customs agent said, “out of the van boys, stand over here, eh�, while another one climbed in and began going through everything. A short time later he climbed out holding a pack of rolling papers, an asked, “where is it?� Us,�where is what?� Him, “I know you have some, I just can’t find it.� I failed to mention, there were no dogs. No dogs…we were poolside, if you know what I mean.
We weren’t really worried about a single joint, but we knew if they found it they would take our van apart with power tools, and that would’ve been a major problem.
They marched us inside for the strip search, but first made us empty our pockets. We had about ten grand between us, but one guy had all but twenty of it in his pocket. They found this suspicious, and it was, and that pissed ‘em off. They told us to strip down to our shorts, and put our clothes on the table. Polo and me weren’t wearing any shorts, so we were standing there naked, and that pissed ‘em off some more. They told me to put my pants back on, and gave me a pat down and searched my pockets, which were of course, empty.
They turned their attention to the pile of clothes on the table. We all knew the joint was in the pocket of my jacket, and we were sweating. They turned the clothes inside out, and went through every pocket. The agent who had my jacket was fumbling with the button, and apparently, since he couldn’t unbutton it easily, gave up, and threw it back it the pile. There is something to be said about a fresh Levi blue jean jacket. It was the only pocket they didn’t search.
Meanwhile, they were still searching the van, and one of ‘em came inside and announced, “I can’t find anything.� I cannot believe they didn’t search the trash, but that was cool with me. After telling us again, “we know you’ve got it, we just can’t find it�, they let us go. That was a close call, plain lucky, and we learned an important lesson.
From that trip on, we stashed the goods in a metal box we welded to the frame underneath the engine. We also added an unregistered .45 to the inventory.
You never know.
Posted by Yabu at 05:30 PM | The Past | Comments (1) | TrackBack
April 07, 2006
Belize
Here's a few more pictures from Belize (in no certain order). That was a great trip, trust me.
This is how they served our wine
Yabu after several mid-morning Margaritas
Sugarcane...all cut by hand to provide more jobs
Shadows...that's me on the left and my Bitch on the right taking the picture
Looking east in the early morning
If it bleeds we can kill it. See that croc?
Posted by Yabu at 12:52 PM | Images | Comments (7) | TrackBack
April 06, 2006
Excuse Me While I Reboot
The day Microsoft makes something that doesn't suck, is probably the day they start making vacuum cleaners.
-Ernst Jan Plugge
Posted by Yabu at 06:27 PM | The Future | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Feet Dry
Posted by Yabu at 06:15 PM | Images | Comments (1) | TrackBack
April 04, 2006
Friends
Christina is a 10. Dash is a 10. I'm somewhere else.
Anyway, I just took the most remarkable trip with these folks...and it was good. The Catdaddy!
I met Dash's mother who shared a picture of her and her son when he was a young Black Ass Howling Dash
That's him hanging on.
See what I mean? We should grill it.
Posted by Yabu at 10:29 PM | The Present | Comments (9)
April 02, 2006
Great Trip
I've got some stories to tell and some images to show, so until I get my stuff back together...enjoy these. I've got to break again in a day or two.
Posted by Yabu at 04:07 PM | The Past | Comments (5) | TrackBack
April 01, 2006
In Country
The wily and determined Yabu has overcome adversity and is presently in country.
Godspeed, my friend.
May you rest your weary head under your own roof this night.
May heaven help the SOB who crossed you this trip.
Amen.
Posted by Domino at 10:01 PM | The Present | Comments (1)
Stranded
I just read that Yabu, the international man of mystery, has been stranded in Belize, something about a “practice strike.� Ha, ha, ha, that’s got to be the funniest shit I‘ve heard all week.
I’m sure he’ll tell us all about it upon his return. In the meantime, my bus to Florida is about to pull out of the station. I’ve had about enough of all the Bad, Bad Juju I can stand.
Just Damn!
Posted by Dax at 09:29 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
