SATURDAY

3:00 a.m. Alarm rings
3:30 a.m. Fishing partner arrives and drags my ass out of bed. Pack lunch
and get ready
4:00 a.m. Throw our gear into back of pick-up and leave.
4:10 a.m. Go back to house to get boat.
4:30 a.m. Leave again - this time with boat.
4:45 a.m. Go back to house to get fishing rods.
5:00 a.m. Leave again - pop top on first beer.
5:01 a.m. Spill beer in lap - wide awake now.
6:00 a.m. Arrive at ramp - are #22 in line to launch boat. Drink six-pack
while waiting
7:30 a.m. Back boat and trailer into water - Winch stuck so cut rope and
thumb with knife. - Sew thumb up with fishing line. Drink another
beer.
8:00 a.m. Boat floating away from ramp while partner parks truck and
trailer. Engine won't start - forgot gas.
8:05 a.m. Have to paddle back to shore. - Left paddles in truck. Take off
shirt and shoes to jump in water to pull boat back to shore.
8:06 a.m. Nuts crawl up into belly - Water cold - Real damn cold.
8:10 a.m. Get boat pulled to shore - step on bottle and cut foot.
8:11 a.m. Fishing partner takes me to emergency room to get foot sewn up
and Tetanus shot - drink another beer.
11:00 a.m. Leave emergency room to go back to boat. Stop to get more
beer.
11:45 a.m. Get back to boat with beer - forgot to get the damn gas.
1:00 p.m. Boat gassed and going finally.
1:15 p.m. Get stuck on sand bar near favorite fishing spot. - Drink another beer.
2:00 p.m. Friends come by and pull us off sand bar. Get severe rope burn
on hands and get pulled into water. - Still real damn cold.
2:30 p.m. Get to fishing spot, decide to eat lunch. - Left it sitting on kitchen
counter. Drink another beer.
2:45 p.m. Partner and I make our first cast. - He catches a trophy
smallmouth. - I snag and lose my favorite lure.
3:15 p.m. Partner has caught 6 more fish. - I've caught a cold.
3:30 p.m. Change sides of boat. - Partner catches another trophy
smallmouth. I lose another lure.
3:45 p.m. Partner agrees to let me try his tackle gear after I threaten him
with broken bottle.
4:15 p.m. Partner has caught 6 more fish with my tackle. - I've got a rash
from my wet cold underwear.
4:17 p.m. I lose my balance and fall into the water while trying to throw my
partner overboard. - Water has gotten colder - Nuts smaller.
4:30 p.m. Pull plug on drains of boat to get excess water out where I've
slipped all day. Head back to ramp.
5:15 p.m. Park boat along bank and go get truck and trailer. #10 in line to
load boat. Drink another beer.
6:00 p.m. Barely get boat going and loaded onto trailer due to foot of water
in bottom. - left plugs out.
6:10 p.m. Get shocked hooking trailer lights up. - Drink another beer.
6:30 p.m. Pulled over and given ticket for open beer in truck. Partner
drives rest of way.
7:30 p.m. Get home - go to bed - throw up and cough all night.

Monday: Go to hospital - have pneumonia.
Tuesday: In hospital
Wednesday: In hospital
Thursday: In hospital
Friday: Go home

Saturday:
8:00 a.m. Get up - eat breakfast and drink coffee.
9:00 a.m. Load fishing gear into boat,
9:15 a.m. Hook boat and trailer up to truck.
9:45 a.m. Pull boat to flea market. - Trade everything for backyard
badminton set !