« January 2007 | Main | March 2007 »
February 23, 2007
Weapons Ban
Tip of the Fedora to Big Dick
"Every vote for a Democrat is a vote to give up your guns, always, period, no exceptions"
- sasafras
Go read the the comments posted to the Assault Weapons Ban and Law Enforcement Protection Act of 2007
There might be some reality in there.
Posted by Yabu at 10:37 AM | The Present | TrackBack
February 22, 2007
Once In A Blue Moon
My girl Domino is downtown again.
Posted by Yabu at 01:02 PM | Domino | TrackBack
February 20, 2007
Overheard
Quote by the Juju Lady...
"When my tanks reach the city…they kill everything"
Of course she was playing Civilization, but you never know.
Posted by Yabu at 11:26 PM | The Present | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Pots And Bullets
I loves me a nice Revolver. Loves them I do.
You wouldn't believe what a 357 will do to a flower pot(s).
Just ask my Squeeze. Good thing I was out of bullets.
Damn, I've got to go shopping tomorrow.
Need both.
Posted by Yabu at 10:57 PM | The Present | Comments (2) | TrackBack
The Dish Treatment
I hate dirty dishes. Always have. Inherited the clean gene from my ancestors. I also inherited the do what it takes gene. I know how to use the latter.
I also hate washing (a bunch…like all of ‘em) dishes. When I was in college and living with a gang of like-minded people, we had a solution to the problem of dirty dishes. We’d wait until they were all dirty, and rather than clean ‘em, we’d just throw ‘em away. All of them…everything…pots, pans, plates, bowls, forks, knives, spoons…everything. Hell, we would've thrown away the sink if we could...maybe the entire kitchen.
Beats the shit out of washing dishes.
Anyway, after I determined there was a better way (and much more economical) to deal with the dirty dish problem; I became obsessed with “there will be no dirty dishes syndrome”. In the past…I have been known as DishBoy, among other things. WagonBoy is another blurb altogether.
So, several years later, I was living with a buddy of mine who hadn’t seen the light…he just couldn’t get in the same game with me…this fucker was a slob. Have I mentioned I hate a nasty kitchen?
He would leave dirty dishes all over the house, and I would collect all of ‘em and put ‘em in his fucking bed. I did this every time he slipped up…and that was often. I would put the nasty-ass dirty dishes in his bed, and make it up for him. Yes indeed I would.
Finally, he moved out and told all my people…
…Don’t fuck with Yabu, or he’ll give you the dish treatment.
Posted by Yabu at 09:56 PM | The Past | Comments (3) | TrackBack
February 18, 2007
Beam Me Up...
Trust me...you gotta get one of these.
Go to Keynote, and watch the iPhone introduction.
This blows the doors off my Crackberry.
Bottom line: It runs OS X, which if you don't know...is really really cool efficient.
Posted by Yabu at 09:58 PM | The Future | Comments (1) | TrackBack
February 17, 2007
Old School Cool
I had exactly this same Schwinn Stingray. Same color, same slik, same everything.
I bet I put a million miles on that puppy, most of 'em on the Slik only. I could almost make that fucker fly. It was bad to the bone before there was bad to the bone. I was too cool for school.
Posted by Yabu at 11:35 AM | The Past | Comments (5) | TrackBack
February 16, 2007
I Wonder How This Happened?
My Bitch got this for Valentine's Day.
She said: "What are we going to do...build something, or take something apart?"
Good question.
I love it when a plan comes together.
Posted by Yabu at 01:27 AM | The Present | Comments (3) | TrackBack
God Hates Fags
I'm not going to tell you where I got this.
Yes I am.....
Hey V-Man...I'm downtown with Jo-Mama.
Posted by Yabu at 01:15 AM | General | Comments (2) | TrackBack
February 15, 2007
Hing / Ming
There was once a very influential farmer in a remote part of China, who had a problem. His chickens were losing their feathers and dying. H sought the counsel of the two wise men in town, Hing, who was scientist, and Ming, who was a sorcerer.
Hing, who has had many advanced course hours in poultry science, consults the classic text in poultry disease, "Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Diseases of Chickens, But Were Afraid to Ask." In the book Hing finds a reference to the report of a study showing that feeding the chickens with an infusion of gum tree leaves is often a remedy for chickens losing their feathers. Meanwhile Ming reads obscure writings of ancient wise men, he meditates, and he reads tarot cards and examines the entrails of a pig. Getting no inspiration he uses his old standby, reading tea leaves. In a spark of discovery, it comes to him that an infusion of gum tree leaves is the cure.
So the two wise men report back to the influential Chinese farmer. Ming says, "As gum sticks to tables and chairs, so shall an infusion of gum tree leaves make feathers stick to chickens." Hing agrees, saying "Studies show that infusions of gum tree leaves alleviate feather loss in chickens." The influential Chinese farmer is ecstatic, for the two wisest men in town are of a single mind. He decides to follow their recommendation. It does not work.
Moral of the Story: "All of Hing's courses and all of Ming' ken couldn't get gum tea to feather a hen."
Posted by Yabu at 10:48 PM | Humor | Comments (1) | TrackBack
February 13, 2007
Happy V-Day V-Man
I hope you will all join me in wishing Velociman a Happy Valentine’s Day.
He looks good in pink, ya think?
I originally used this totem pole to oust the evil homosexual fag demons that Ernest Angley convinced me were lurking in the background. Then I met Velociworld…I wish Velociman had a single personality, but that would be to the shy. Velociworld is many things, and I swear to the Maker, the fuckers are all nuts.
Sayonara
Posted by Yabu at 04:05 PM | The Present | Comments (9)
February 10, 2007
Close, But No Cigar
I just returned from a couple of weeks where the high was less than 10 degrees, and the low was way below zero. With the wind, it was just damn brutal. I don’t mind the cold, I never have, but it feels good to be back home…low of 18 and a high of 49. Much better, there is a big difference between –25 wind chill, and no wind chill to speak of. Yeah, yeah, I packed and dressed for it, but still, huge difference between –18 and 18. You can die a lot faster in the former. You get caught outside in that less than zero shit…you’re in some bad bad juju.
Anyway, this morning my phone rang…the landline…the Fax picked it up, as it should, and gave ‘em an ear screech. I love it when that happens. Seconds later, my cell phone rings…it’s my neighbor…she says, “There are deer in my backyard…they’re acting like they are going to jump though my kitchen window”. As long as I’ve lived here, I’ve never seen a deer in my neighborhood. Never! I said, what do you want me to do, shoot ‘em? She replied. “No, I don’t like venison.” Bwahahahahahahah!!!!
Immediately after my laugh, she said,”they just jumped your fence…they’re right next to your back porch. Sure enough, they were, and I’m not talking about those little bitty deer they have down south…I’m talking about full-grown North Carolina White Tails. One buck and a couple of his bitches. She said, “What are you going to do”. I said, shoot the buck for sure, maybe get lucky and get the other two….no no no…just kidding…I’m gonna whip out my secret weapon.
Me: “C’mon Stretch, we’ve got deer in the backyard.” My boy is at the back door in the kitchen in less than two seconds. I lift him, and gave him a view of the deer from the windows above the sink, and asked him if he was ready to slow dance. Now, he’s never seen anything like a deer, but he is fearless. I swear to the Maker he is fearless. We do this routine all the time with squirrels, but not with deer. I let him down, and he backs up a few feet…he knows when I open the door…he needs a little speed out of the gate…so to speak. He likes horse racing.
I open the door and he left the porch like an FA-18 leaving the deck of a carrier.
Immediately, one of ‘em jumped the fence, but the other two were confused and broke for the back…where there is nothing but trees along the fence line. He was relentless, and got pretty damn close before he ran ‘em back toward the house. They bolted over the fence as well, but Stretch is swaggering around like he owns the world. I guess that’s why I call my backyard the Stretchengeti.
Anyone ever seen a Dachshund chase deer? Me neither. It was hilarious.
Stretch is downtown with some Juju.
Posted by Yabu at 07:39 PM | The Present | Comments (10) | TrackBack
February 04, 2007
Wierd Shit
Did not get tagged by Choubaby That's a fact.
THE RULES: Each player of this game starts with the six weird things about yourself. People who get tagged need to write a blogpost of their own six weird things as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose six people to be tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says 'you are tagged’ in their comments and tell them to read your blog.
Did I get that right?
OK:
1) I’m a black man trapped in a white man’s body. Too much banana, black howling ass monkeys, and all that goes with ‘em…including the wiggle on the dance floor.
2) I like to drink Gatorade, at room temperature, in the middle of the night.
3) I was a packrat. No more. Threw ALL that shit away yesterday. I feel good, like you knew I would.
4) I have NEVER called a woman “Dude”
5) I believe I’m a great righter, and my time will come. I can not wait.
6) I really don’t give a shit about much of anything, except my Bitch and my friends.
Tag six people...Nah...I'm in a relationship...Bwahahahahahahah!!!
I do loves me my Choubaby!!!
Posted by Yabu at 10:21 PM | The Present | Comments (7) | TrackBack
A Good Thief...
...is hard to find.
I've got boo coo computers and peripherals, so yesterday afternoon I set a 21 inch monitor (big as a fucking dishwasher, but still had a beautiful picture at 1600) outside next to the curb. I moved to flat panels a long time ago. Anyway, I put a sign on it that reads, "Please steal me...I work".
Well, 30 something hours later...that fucker is still there. I can tell you...if it'd been furniture, it'd be long gone.
I'm just sayin"
Also, I trashed so many CPU's, monitors, printers, modems, cables, etc...I can't count 'em.
Not that anyone could guess my passwords...but, I gave 'em the ol' Dr. Yabu magnet and sledgehammer treatment just to be sure.
Bwahahahahahahah!!!!
I've got a lot more room now.
Posted by Yabu at 09:29 PM | General | Comments (1) | TrackBack
February 03, 2007
Baby...
Oh hell yes.
Posted by Yabu at 10:17 PM | Music | Comments (2) | TrackBack
