« Wierd Shit | Main | Happy V-Day V-Man »
February 10, 2007
Close, But No Cigar
I just returned from a couple of weeks where the high was less than 10 degrees, and the low was way below zero. With the wind, it was just damn brutal. I don’t mind the cold, I never have, but it feels good to be back home…low of 18 and a high of 49. Much better, there is a big difference between –25 wind chill, and no wind chill to speak of. Yeah, yeah, I packed and dressed for it, but still, huge difference between –18 and 18. You can die a lot faster in the former. You get caught outside in that less than zero shit…you’re in some bad bad juju.
Anyway, this morning my phone rang…the landline…the Fax picked it up, as it should, and gave ‘em an ear screech. I love it when that happens. Seconds later, my cell phone rings…it’s my neighbor…she says, “There are deer in my backyard…they’re acting like they are going to jump though my kitchen window”. As long as I’ve lived here, I’ve never seen a deer in my neighborhood. Never! I said, what do you want me to do, shoot ‘em? She replied. “No, I don’t like venison.” Bwahahahahahahah!!!!
Immediately after my laugh, she said,”they just jumped your fence…they’re right next to your back porch. Sure enough, they were, and I’m not talking about those little bitty deer they have down south…I’m talking about full-grown North Carolina White Tails. One buck and a couple of his bitches. She said, “What are you going to do”. I said, shoot the buck for sure, maybe get lucky and get the other two….no no no…just kidding…I’m gonna whip out my secret weapon.
Me: “C’mon Stretch, we’ve got deer in the backyard.” My boy is at the back door in the kitchen in less than two seconds. I lift him, and gave him a view of the deer from the windows above the sink, and asked him if he was ready to slow dance. Now, he’s never seen anything like a deer, but he is fearless. I swear to the Maker he is fearless. We do this routine all the time with squirrels, but not with deer. I let him down, and he backs up a few feet…he knows when I open the door…he needs a little speed out of the gate…so to speak. He likes horse racing.
I open the door and he left the porch like an FA-18 leaving the deck of a carrier.
Immediately, one of ‘em jumped the fence, but the other two were confused and broke for the back…where there is nothing but trees along the fence line. He was relentless, and got pretty damn close before he ran ‘em back toward the house. They bolted over the fence as well, but Stretch is swaggering around like he owns the world. I guess that’s why I call my backyard the Stretchengeti.
Anyone ever seen a Dachshund chase deer? Me neither. It was hilarious.
Stretch is downtown with some Juju.
Posted by Yabu at February 10, 2007 07:39 PM | The Present
TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://badbadjuju.com/mt/mt-tb.cgi/770
Damn Yabu - shame you didn't catch that on video or at least a picture. That would've been a classic!
Posted by: Lisa W. at February 10, 2007 08:49 PM
dang, love them weiner dogs.
Posted by: chou baby at February 11, 2007 01:31 AM
I would pay to see a video of that. "Stretchengeti", the best word I heard all week. I am just not sure how to get that into a conversation.
Posted by: hoosierboy at February 11, 2007 09:44 AM
They used to live out in the woods behind our place out from Chapel Hill (doubt they're there anymore, courtesy of John Edwards who ripped down half those woods.... but I digress). They used to come up to the house in the winter for the heat. One morning I woke to a long brown face in my bedroom window. It was the doe, followed closely by her twins from the year before.....The buck stayed off in the bushes.
Posted by: caltechgirl at February 11, 2007 09:53 PM
I would have loved to have seen that.
"Stretchengeti" is very funny. The Serengeti is an awesome place.
Posted by: keeskennis at February 12, 2007 01:40 AM
Hah! I love Dachshunds. They are truly little badasses. I had a red one that looked just like Stretch when I was a young man. I worked on an Apaloosa ranch down near Winnabow, NC back then. Every time one of the horses got loose we would take my Dachshund out to round them up. Mine was named Pepe' La Pew. He could round up a horse and bring it back in no time. After he brought a horse back he would strut around the stable with his head up and his ears up, kicking dirt with his back feet. That dog has been dead for over 30 years but I still think of him and miss him sometimes. Strecth brings back some good memories for me. Give him a bone and tell him Assrot said hi will you?
:-)
Posted by: Assrot at February 12, 2007 07:50 PM
I knew early on how that story would end. Dachshunds are afraid of nothing -- nada.
Posted by: Jim - PRS at February 12, 2007 10:00 PM
... had the buck dropped his antlers yet?...
Posted by: Eric at February 13, 2007 08:28 AM
Cool! That's why I built a 6 foot fence. Those bastards will destroy a garden in about 30 microseconds. Tasty, though.
Posted by: Dash at February 13, 2007 05:37 PM
Pictures!! The mental image is fabulous but a few pictures would have been great. :-) Good for Stretch!
Posted by: Richmond at February 15, 2007 08:27 AM
