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April 25, 2007
Not That It Matters...
...but I'm going to move back into my Old Crib
Yellow just ain't doing it for me anymore. I am what I am.
It will take me a little while to tune everything up...not that I give a shit. Yabu and the Juju lady have the keys...Good or Bad...right, wrong, or indifferent...the Brier Patch is truly some Juju. One way or another.
Be cool with it!!!
Posted by Yabu at 03:12 PM | The Present | Comments (5) | TrackBack
April 24, 2007
The Green Flash
The Green Flash occurs at the moment the sun slips below the horizon. I've been all over the Caribbean in search of this phenomenon...no luck yet, but I've had many cold beverages in anticipation. I will keep searching...and no doubt, drink some more beer. Green Flash or not...watching the sun set is cool... Caribbean or not.
Posted by Yabu at 10:58 PM | General | Comments (3) | TrackBack
April 23, 2007
Thought Of The Moment
"You don't get you honey from where you get your money."
I'm just sayin'
Posted by Yabu at 12:18 PM | General | Comments (7) | TrackBack
April 21, 2007
The King Of Rig
That would be me. What I do to put bread on the table requires me to, sometimes, use some unorthodox methods…like beating the problem into submission. I have always disagreed with the statement…”If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.” If you can’t solve the problem…change the rules. After all: rules are meant to be broken and manipulated. You have to think out of the box…saved my ass on several occasions.
I am speaking of technical matters, but the same philosophy holds true for other situations as well.
I’m just saying you must have an open mind, except when it comes to queers and / or the Left.
Posted by Yabu at 12:59 PM | General | Comments (5) | TrackBack
April 20, 2007
I'm Stuck In Fucking Boston...
...not that it matters...but these people talk different...are hard to understand...and drive like crazy motherfuckers.
Different planet.
But like my good friend (she knows who she is) said, "I'll buy dinner for the Swimmer and Hillary...if he'll drive her home.
Bwahahahahahah!!!
Posted by Yabu at 12:33 AM | The Past | Comments (5) | TrackBack
April 15, 2007
The Juju Lady Is Hot
I'm talking...we were meant for each other...
| > WARNING |
| Juju Lady is radioactive. Wear protective clothing at all times. |
From Go-Quiz.com
Posted by Yabu at 10:10 PM | General | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Warning Label
Hot Damn!
| UCAUTION |
| IN THE INTEREST OF SAFETY IT IS ADVISABLE TO KEEP YABU AWAY FROM FIRE AND FLAMES. |
From Go-Quiz.com
Ripped from Elisson
Posted by Yabu at 10:46 AM | General | Comments (4) | TrackBack
Confusion
Yabu loves to create confusion. One Tuesday he sent an e-mail memo to his secretary that said, "I'll be back in the office three days before one week after the day after tomorrow."
When would he be back?
Posted by Yabu at 10:01 AM | Humor | Comments (6) | TrackBack
Run Fred Run
Fred has too much banana.
Big Dick is on it as well.
Excuse the pun...
Posted by Yabu at 12:01 AM | The Future | Comments (0) | TrackBack
April 14, 2007
Bear With Me
I was camping in the Blue Ridge Mountains with a friend of mine, and our women. We pitched our tents beside a stream full of rainbow trout, and we took our share. Life, and dinner, was good. A Park Ranger stopped in on us early the second night, and he ate well…he was a good guy…but, he was the Law, and he now knew who we were.
The next morning, about an hour after sunrise, I wandered off to take care of some business. The rest of my tribe was preparing a breakfast of coffee, bacon, fresh trout, longnecks, and hoecakes. You could smell it for miles. So could the Bear.
Everyone knew I always kept a large caliber revolver in my pack. Yes, it was in my pack and not with me…stupid on my part…that will never happen again.
As I came out of the woods, there was a fairly large Black Bear on site. I guess he was hungry.
He saw me. I did a quick scan of our site for my friends…not there…I looked for my pack…not there...not that I could’ve gotten to it. In a split second I’m thinking, “I might be fucked”. The bear turned in my direction, but didn’t charge…he moved several yards closer, and the hair on his back was raised, but he didn’t charge…he was staring me down. My nuts were tight. Real tight.
About five seconds later…seemed like hours…the bear started after me, and I heard five shots…boom…boom…boom…boom…boom. The bear was down, and if I hadn’t just done my business…I would’ve done it in my pants. The next thing I know, my friend in running toward me, with my gun, and he puts number six into the back of the bear’s skull…point blank. Dead bear…hell, he was already dead…I think the first five got him…who knows? My friend is reloading my gun…the girls are flipping out…I’m in fucking shock…
So, I thank my friend for (possibly) saving my life with my own gun, and then start thinking. I know someone heard that…but it is early…we’ve got to do something …fast. The Park Ranger knows who we are. Damn.
Our cars were about a mile away, fortunately all downhill. I said, we’ve got to take the bear with us, or we could be in deeper shit. We were already in deep shit. If you find a bear with six .357 hollow points in it…well…you know.
We broke camp…in a hurry. We rolled the dead bear onto a makeshift dragger (tent and two poles), and drug that fucker back to our car. Actually, it was an RV. We loaded its dead ass into the back, and broke for cover. Remember, the girls loved this. It took all four of us to hoist this dead bear into the RV, and all four of us to conceal the body. Everyone was doing the Watusi, if you know what I mean.
My buddy is driving, and as we’re coming down the mountain…we get pulled over for some taillight shit. Must have been in the stars. Everyone in the RV was tight…real tight. I mean we had a dead bear in the back. We gladly took the ticket. The cop never even considered searching in the back, which is amazing because we were all nervous as hell. I’ll never know.
We finally get to Charlottesville, and pull into our bar. With some help from the grill man, the manager, and a couple of other friends…we put that fucking dead bear into the dumpster out back.
Never heard a thing about anything.
Anyway, I gave the gun that my buddy most probably saved my life with to him.
Wouldn’t you?
I have since replaced it.
Posted by Yabu at 09:12 PM | The Past | Comments (1) | TrackBack
It Is Hard Being Yabu
Conversation with the Juju Lady Bitch this morning: In the kitchen.
Yabu: “Sweetie, you made the Sun catch on fire for me. I would give you the Rings of Saturn to wear on your pinky if I could.”
Sweetie: “She just smiles”
Yabu: “I don’t know how I can trash the kitchen so fast.”
The Juju Lady replied...”You're just like a child...mentally, you’re still under development.”
That was Cold.
She verbally whapped me…but good.
The thing is: she might be right.
Bwahahahahahahah!!!!
It is hard being Me.
Posted by Yabu at 01:47 PM | The Present | Comments (1) | TrackBack
April 12, 2007
Balls
I do not play games.
I have always had the audacity to say what I sense...what I feel. I have never told anyone what I think it is they want to hear. Never…not my style.
As James Garfield said… “The truth will set you free, but first it will make you miserable.”
That is a TRUE statement…but in the end…if you stay true to yourself…you will prevail.
Stick to your (sword) guns…Always…Never waver. Trust your blade, but make certain that fucker is honed.
You never know from which direction conflict will come. Sometimes, it seems to come out of nowhere.
You need to be able to think and react FAST.
I’m just sayin’
Posted by Yabu at 10:48 PM | General | Comments (2) | TrackBack
Kurt Vonnegut...RIP
"Everything was beautiful, and nothing hurt."
...Vonnegut once said that of all the ways to die, he'd prefer to go out in an airplane crash on the peak of Mount Kilimanjaro. He often joked about the difficulties of old age....
I've read every word he has written published. He was out there. Truly one of a kind.
Novelist Kurt Vonnegut Dies at Age 84
Posted by Yabu at 12:14 PM | General | Comments (0) | TrackBack
April 11, 2007
If My Daddy Could See Me Now
The Big Ten Inch is for catdaddy Velociman.
Bwahahahahahah!!!
Posted by Yabu at 12:34 AM | The Past | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Can You Get Me On...
your Wavelength....come back baby, come back.
Posted by Yabu at 12:10 AM | The Past | Comments (0) | TrackBack
April 08, 2007
A Good Meal Was Had By All
The Juju Lady can get down with a Crown Rack of Lamb.
Posted by Yabu at 08:09 PM | The Present | Comments (7) | TrackBack
Fred Thompson Is Blogging
...“To misrepresent unpunished piracy as a victory is as Orwellian as the congressional mandate banning use of the term "the global war on terror." What are we — Reuters?”...
- Fred Thompson
Go read all of The Pirates of Tehran. Why would he be blogging if he wasn't going to get in the game?
Posted by Yabu at 09:23 AM | General | Comments (2) | TrackBack
April 07, 2007
Curling A Steamer
I have never done any crap blogging, but my good friend Jimbo made me remember. He's on it here and here.
I got off a flight from somewhere to somewhere one time and had to take a leak. I enter the men's room only to find that someone had curled a steamie in the sink. Yeap, in the fucking sink. I also believe the same person was trying to range his Johnson by utilizing the fucking mirrors. I have done that before. Ranging my unit, that is.
When I was a kid (boys will be boys), I won all the "distance pissing contests"...I can pee for miles, but I have never taken a shit in the sink. I've curled one in many places, but not the sink.
Damn!
Anyone ever pissed on an electric fence? Trust me...you will only do that ONE time.
Bwahahahahahahah!!!
Posted by Yabu at 01:58 PM | The Past | Comments (5) | TrackBack
Dr. Yabu’s Hot Wash
I’m better at keeping the kitchen spotless than washing clothes. I grab a pile of laundry, and just throw it in the washer…on Hot / Hot. No separation whatsoever. I am an artist. I can create some very unique colors for your wearing pleasure.
I have been demoted to Dish Boy. I am not allowed near the laundry room, but I am expected to spend a lot of time in the kitchen. I consider it to be a fair deal.
You know what they say about, “if you can’t stand the heat…”
I’ve also been Wagon Boy, but that’s another story.
Posted by Yabu at 11:59 AM | General | Comments (3) | TrackBack
April 06, 2007
A Few Random Thoughts
Islam is a 7th century death cult.
“When the phone doesn’t ring, you’ll know it’s me.”
- Yabu to ex-girlfriend
The United Nations can kiss my ass.
I support Israel 100%.
Pelosi is a traitor.
I think it should be law that every American household should, at least, have a shotgun.
China is going to be a Real Problem in the next 20 – 30 years. In this context, I consider Real to be synonymous with World Domination. The Chinese are many things, but they are not stupid, and they are patient.
It amazes me that most new college graduates don’t know shit about computers.
I think we’ll see a nuclear detonation, in anger, within the next 5 years.
I think the Star Trek Communicator will be here sooner than later.
Everyone should read, “The World is Flat”, by Thomas L. Friedman.
I think ALL airlines should stop serving peanuts…Anaphylactic Shock is some Bad Bad Juju, and often fatal. If you can’t go without peanuts while airborne, you’ve got some other problems.
We will experience another terrorist attack on the magnitude of 9/11.
I think we’re fucked if we elect a Democrat in 2008.
I will beat the shit out of anyone I see burning the flag.
Illegal Immigration needs to be stopped…by whatever means. Build two fences with a minefield between ‘em. Whatever it takes.
We should pull most of the military out of Germany and put ‘em on the Canadian border.
Friends are the most important things in the world.
Everyone should have a passport
We should back-up on all this foreign aid.
I would have no problem if we nuked Iran. None whatsoever.
This religious war is going to get worse before it gets better. If we don’t adapt to their rules…no way we can win.
Peace and Harmony is bullshit, in this day and age, unless you’re talking about two people.
Jimmy Carter was the worst President we’ve ever had. Fucking Pussy.
I’ve made some true friends through this blogging thing.
Everyone should take a “passport trip” once a year.
Every time I play golf, I have at least one shot that keeps me coming back.
I’m a lucky man to have the Juju Lady.
That is all…for now.
Posted by Yabu at 11:49 AM | The Present | Comments (10) | TrackBack
April 05, 2007
Another Reason Why You Need A Sunroof
Be sure to click on the second picture. She gave her occupation as SPAMMER.
Posted by Yabu at 08:34 AM | General | Comments (4) | TrackBack
April 03, 2007
Stretch's Birthday
Today Stretch completed another lap around the sun.
The little bastard rascal stole my apple.
I would punish him...but I can't catch him, and I ain't gonna shoot him. That little fucker is fast, and can turn on a dime.
Life is but a game to him. Could be worse.
Posted by Yabu at 11:03 AM | The Present | Comments (7) | TrackBack
April 02, 2007
Thompson Is For Real...
Some say he does not burn the midnight oil...they said that about Reagan as well. I say all work and no play dulls the senses. When I work, I work hard...When I play, I play hard...just ask anyone who knows me. Ain't no happy medium going on in the Juju Crib. I truly hope he goes for it...I think he can win, and this country needs a Fred...now more than ever.
Run Fred Run
Posted by Yabu at 11:03 AM | The Future | Comments (7) | TrackBack
April 01, 2007
For Christina
Posted by Yabu at 03:46 PM | General | Comments (5) | TrackBack
Twin Sister
Did you know Yabu has a twin sister from a different mother? He does, and twin sister sent him a package that is downright orgasmic.
I probably shouldn't use sister and orgasmic in the same sentence, but hey, what the fuck.
Posted by Yabu at 11:02 AM | General | Comments (3) | TrackBack
