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August 31, 2008
I'm Downtown With Her
Every smart man has a smart woman on the team. Even better if they can shoot.
I like her...
Posted by Yabu at 12:07 PM | The Future | Comments (1) | TrackBack
August 28, 2008
A Wedding Story
Boudicca and Oddybobo have a wedding story up...here's ONE of mine.
Let me set the stage:
One of my best friends was getting married to a beautiful girl whose father has some major folding money. It was truly a La De Da...in the middle of August...In the middle of Tennessee...and it was about 100 degrees with 100% humidity...as I often say to describe heat and humidity, Holiday in Cambodia.
Ten bridesmaids and ten groomsmen.
Never, ever, do the boys night out the night of the rehearsal dinner.
The rehearsal dinner went off without a hitch...great food and drink...I even had intimate relations with one of her bridesmaids in an unoccupied room at the country club. It could have been worse. She was a killer.
Afterwords, me and the boys head out to an undisclosed location. Actually, it involved no naked women, but it was a bar owned by one of us groomsmen.
We drank and told stories...we laughed and drank some more...told some more stories...by dawns early light, we were toasted. I'm not talking drunk...we were way past that...we were way past bulletproof...we were invisible.
After a 130 mph ride home in a 911, I arrive home around 7:00am. All of us needed to be at another country club at 10:30am for another la de da function. The wedding was at 4:00pm.
This is where it gets interesting:
I tapped on my couch for a couple of hours and then the phone began to ring and ring and ring. The groom was missing. I answer it, still really really drunk, and committed to become part of a posse. We knew where he was, so we didn't think it was a big deal. About six of us met up at my crib and drove over to another groomsman's house. We knew he was inside, but nobody would answer the door. Bad Bad Juju.
We took a wrought iron lawn chair and threw it through the front window (seemed like a good idea at the time)...climbed in...and what did we find?
The Groom was in bad shape. I can't recall ever seeing anyone in that condition. He was worse than sick...we thought he might be ready to give up the ghost. I'm talking "calling off the wedding sick". We got him dressed, carried him to a car, and made it to the function about two hours late. He was in really bad shape. The bride's father was as pissed as I have ever seen anyone.
More stage setting:
At that time in my life, I was studying some Moo Duk Kwon / White Crane.
We arrive at the breakfast.
Anyway, the bride's father came up to me, stuck his finger in my chest, and threatened to kick my ass. I told him in no uncertain terms that if he didn't get away, I was going to break his fucking arm. Exactly what I said in front of a crowd. The crowd (guests) were in shock. Well he pushed again...and I used my right arm to deflect his right arm from my chest...put my left leg behind his right leg, gave him a little shove, and sent his ass to the floor. It was great...I, to this day, have people telling me how cool that was...They say, Damn, her father was more than a foot taller than you.
As you can imagine...this was a real mess...I really thought I was going to have to fight someone who outweighed me by more than a hundred pounds, but I was ready...and still bulletproof...and still drunk...fuck him...I was going all the way. My buddies had to intervene...because I was going to finish him off when he tried to get up. He stayed down...thank the Maker. Speed is a good thing.
As soon as this happened, a good friend of the bride's father...who holds an MD in Internal Medicine, decided to load all of us in a van and take us to the emergency room for some vitamin shots, some bouillon, and a realistic talking to.
That B-12 shot in the ass did help...I kid you not. The lecture did not, though.
This is the first and only time I've ever been to an emergency room to pull off a wedding.
More stage setting.
My friends and I are one for all and all for one.
So we decided...we would not wear the cheesy black patent leather shoes...we would wear our Cowboy boots. We did....we also all wore our matching Ray Ban's as well. This REALLY pissed off her father...I loved it.
I've got the pictures to prove it.
Her father wanted to slow dance one more time...I told him I would like that very much...(my boys were standing by me)...he backed down. Good thing, because I was going to embarrass his arrogant ass again...in front of all his friends...and he knew it.
I haven't seen him since.
Posted by Yabu at 09:07 AM | The Past | Comments (4) | TrackBack
August 27, 2008
A Badass Ride
I want one of these. I can tell you for certain it doesn't run on Windows.
Probably get a good deal on one of these, since heads-up displays are going away.
These are some Bad Bad Juju
Posted by Yabu at 10:59 AM | The Present | Comments (0) | TrackBack
August 25, 2008
I Do Loves Me Some Texans...
...and I loves me some Uppity Women, and I hates me some Obamawheat.
Two words if Obamawheat gets elected...We're Fucked
Posted by Yabu at 04:32 PM | The Present | Comments (1) | TrackBack
August 24, 2008
Kayack Back
My ass is sore...my arms are sore...my shoulders and back are fucking killing me, but it was a blast. Didn't do anything like these crazy fuckers...not quite. I'm a lucky sumbitch. I did bounce off some rocks though...and I've got the bruises to prove it. Scared myself a couple of times.
Water is powerful...make no mistake about that.
You really want to see a crazy motherfucker? Watch this.
Posted by Yabu at 09:45 PM | The Present | Comments (1) | TrackBack
August 22, 2008
Gone Kayaking
Be back later...have a good weekend.
Posted by Yabu at 09:40 AM | The Present | Comments (0) | TrackBack
August 20, 2008
FUCK Barack Hussein Obama
Written by Dr. Jack Wheeler
The O-man, Barack Hussein Obama, is an eloquently tailored empty suit. No resume, no accomplishments, no experience, no original ideas, no understanding of how the economy works, no understanding of how the world works, no balls, nothing but abstract empty rhetoric devoid of real substance.
He has no real identity. He is half-white, which he rejects. The rest of him is mostly Arab, which he hides but is disclosed by his non-African Arabic surname and his Arabic first and middle names as a way to triply proclaim his Arabic parentage to people in Kenya. Only a small part of him is African Black from his Luo grandmother, which he pretends he is exclusively.
What he isn't, not a genetic drop of, is 'African-American,' the descendant of enslaved Africans brought to America chained in slave ships. He hasn't a single ancestor who was a slave. Instead, his Arab ancestors were slave owners. Slave-trading was the main Arab business in East Africa for centuries until the British ended it.
Let that sink in: Obama is not the descendant of slaves, he is the descendant of slave owners. Thus he makes the perfect Liberal Messiah.
It's something Hillary doesn't understand - how some complete neophyte came out of the blue and stole the Dem nomination from her. Obamamania is beyond politics and reason. It is a true religious cult, whose adherents reject Christianity yet still believe in Original Sin, transferring it from the evil of being human to the evil of being white.
Thus Obama has become the white liberals' Christ, offering absolution from the Sin of Being White. There is no reason or logic behind it, no faults or flaws of his can diminish it, no arguments Hillary could make of any kind can be effective against it. The absurdity of Hypocrisy Clothed In Human Flesh being their Savior is all the more cause for liberals to worship him: Credo quia absurdum, I believe it because it is absurd.
Thank heavens that the voting majority of Americans remain Christian and are in no desperate need of a phony savior.
His candidacy is ridiculous and should not be taken seriously by any thinking American.
I'm telling you...if this guy gets elected...we're all in deep deep shit. I'm not saying that McCain is the savior, but he IS the only rational choice. Sometimes you have to make a decision.
Posted by Yabu at 02:22 PM | The Future | Comments (2) | TrackBack
August 19, 2008
Got Trim - Foredeck Monkey
An Almost Broad Reach.
Not quite Broad...not quite Tight, but these fuckers are flying. Yabu do loves him some sailing. I grew up as a Foredeck Monkey. I can drive...I can trim...I can grind...I can work the sewer, I can fetch a cold beverage, but I can walk like a cat on the foredeck. It gets dangerous up front...trust me...especially when doing sets or rounding marks.
I use to race sailboats all the time...years and years. I've never stepped off one without bleeding somewhere.
Anyway, these folks are having some BIG fun.
Posted by Yabu at 05:30 PM | General | Comments (3) | TrackBack
August 16, 2008
Just My Opinion
An artist is someone who can hold two fundamentally opposing views and still function.
I can't...I'm just saying...
I am not an artist unless it is in the wee hours of the morning...or I'm out of town.
Been on vacation since March...gonna slip back in for a while.
Posted by Yabu at 01:24 PM | General | Comments (0) | TrackBack
