As I’ve said before, Yabu and I go way back. Here’s a picture of the first time we were in jail. He’s on the right, my left.

He should’ve not given me those scans. We were fat boys back then.

You should ask him to tell you some of our jail stories, and if he won’t…I will.

I spent Memorial Day weekend with Stretch, Yabu and the Juju Woman, and good friend of mine. He’s a scanning fool. Here’s a picture I stole from him. I snapped it in the early morning. We were on Duck Key, in the Keys for a wedding. We didn’t sleep for about four days. We got all caught up with the bridesmaids, and they were relentless, and good looking. I’m telling you, these nice young ladies were as wild as wild could be. They were out of town, and wanted to cut loose. Cut loose they did, and used us…yes they did. It was a good time.

Anyway, we went fishing one day and camped out on a school of Mackerels. We caught so many we donated ‘em all to the local shack restaurant. They cleaned ‘em all, and fed all 80 of us for free, plus their paying customers. Dinner was on us. This was a classy place…it was raining so hard, there were buckets on the floor everywhere…the joint was leaking bad…when the wind blew hard, the walls would lean. Shit was falling off the walls, but nobody gave a shit. A good time was had by all. This was the morning before the night before the night after. Actually, probably the coolest wedding I’ve ever been to. Everybody was on ten for five days.

Didn’t take Stretch…he does not like loud noises. Gunshots and thunder come to mind.

I took my camera, but the battery was dead, and we left our iPhones at home. Oh Well! It was too much fun.

We grew up in an area that had a major creek or stream that winded around. Mr. Jones (no shit, that was his name) built a nice bridge over it in his backyard…probably about a 20 footer. Back then, we always had a box of M-80’s, Ashcans, and a pack or two of smokes.

We actually, diagrammed our plan on paper, went to work on blowing that fucker up, or down. Whatever. We had some experience with detonating M-80’s…we had a box full, and we had some smokes…we were good to go. We took the smokes, inserted the M-80 fuses about halfway down (we’d already marked them with ink), and hoped for the best. We taped about 30 of our miniature bombs at about 2 foot intervals on both sides and the ends of the bridge. Then we lit the fuckers…ran and waited.  Anyone ever lighted a smoke with an M-80 in it? Obliviously, we were lucky, but I don’t recommend it. An M-80 might just blow your head off. It wasn’t just Yabu and I…we had Big Allen, Slinky and Polo with us. On the count of three we started lighting the smokes. (eyeball timing) L&M’s they were. We puffed until they were going, and broke for cover…and waited. I’ll be damned…most of ‘em went off at the same time. The bridge was history. We blew that fucker, and were proud of ourselves. I, to this day, don’t know how many actually detonated, but it was enough to trash the bridge. I’m talking splinters.

This was truly an engineering marvel,  for a pack of young kids.

I flew over to the Juju Crib yesterday morning. The Juju Woman is road-tripping for the next 5 days, so it’s just me, Yabu, and Stretch for the duration. That damn Stretch is a piece of work, I’m telling you.

Yabu and I learned to walk at the same time, before we could speak…we’ve been tight ever since. Both for one and one for both…something like that.

Yabu ain’t quitting,  He’s just taking a break, so I’m gonna hold down the fort for a while. He poked a hole in his firewall so I can get a remote connection to this machine…use his IP, and his files. I do have a static IP, whatever the hell that means, he said that made it easier. Hell if I know. I do have a Mac at home, if that matters. We’ll see if it works when I return home next week…he said one phone call, and I’d be good to go. Right. Then he started talking about vi’ing or something…he’s out there.

So, yesterday afternoon we put about 100 12 ga. 3 inch 00 buck through his shotgun, and we blew the shit out of a shed. Damn, I’m about damn deaf and my shoulder is sore, then he made me clean it. Asshole. I swear, that thing kicks. I’ve been shooting shotguns since I was a young boy, but that many 3 inch 00’s will fuck anyone up. I’m going to have to pass on shooting it today, and I don’t want to clean it again.

We also picked fresh flowers, and the Juju Crib looks like a fucking whore house, but it does smell good. We do loves us some fresh flowers. Seriously.

We made a huge pot of HOT chili last night, and sliced the habanaros with no surgical gloves. Big mistake, he got habanaro eye, and I got habanaro dick. Anyone ever had habanaro dick? Habanaro Dick is a bad thing. Never, ever, take a leak after cutting habaneros, you can trust me on this.

Anyway, we had a long game of chess while watching Stretch do this to the toy I brought him. He killed it in less than 5 minutes, and continued to mutilate it for hours.

Also, and I mean this from the center of my soul…if whoever sent those emails (yes I read them), directed at Yabu and the Juju Woman, is reading this, …I will kill you if I ever find you. I really will. If you would like me to respond, send me an email with your street address to anjin (at) badbadjuju.com. we’ll like…do lunch.

Yabu and I were living in a trailer in north Florida about twenty feet from A1A. When the semis came by, the whole thing swayed. I would say the foundation was not stable. After all, it was balanced on concrete blocks. We’re just damn lucky it never tipped over.

Back then, everyone burned a little rope, and we had no problem with that…we did have a problem with white powder. That was then…no powder ever. We had no problem with burning a little rope, but never did any powder or pills. We did drink a shitload of beer, though.

About ten of us managed to put together ten grand, and we were going to buy some weed and sell it for a profit. We thought we had a business plan…we were going to make some folding money. Ten grand was a lot of money back then. We did the math for nickles and lids.

We had the cash in Benjamins, and me and Yabu and Doke and Robley went to make our connection, with some Jamaicans who looked like this. These were some serious predators…Dread Locked Bad Motherfuckers with guns. We were taken by surprise.

We drive down a sandy and dirt road to the address? Before we could even turn off the car, six or seven of ‘em came out of nowhere, the bushes, with 1911 45’s pointed at us. I can recognize a 1911. They helped us out of the car (jerked our asses out) and told us to lay belly down, and asked us where the money was. These fuckers were pointing guns at our heads, and I thought they might put the the end tap on us. I admit, we were all scared.

They found the cash in a paper sack in the back before we could give it to ‘em. They took it, and hauled ass in another car before we even knew what was happening. In my opinion, they’d done this before…because they knew exactly what they were doing, but nobody got shot.

We did some crazy shit back then, but we’re still around to talk about it. Lucky is what I say…I also say live and learn.

Not that it matters, but Yabu showed me many things about how to drive his blog interface. I’m going to play with him in the future.

I spent the weekend with Stretch (Stretch is a mess), Yabu, and the Juju Woman. Good conversation, good chess, good food and drink, good everything. We did some reminiscing…I might put some of that up later, but Yabu will probably take it down. He warned me…like I give a shit. We go too far back to care.

The Juju Woman just dodged a bullet. She had a pretty major (20+) speeding ticket reduced to “improper equipment”. Yabu paid an attorney 50 bucks to represent her in court, and she didn’t have to appear. 50 bucks is cheap for no points, if you know what I mean. Points will kill you. I’ve been there.

So, we got to playing chess and drinking and talking politics and about women of the past and everything else. Nobody cares about women of the past except us. But we did smile and laugh. Memories are a good thing.

Whatever: Here’s my question…“What do think about a West / Cain ticket in 2012?” Do you think they would get some of the “I’ll buy your gas and pay your mortgage” vote. No color intended.

Hell if I know, it was just a conversation…I, unfortunately, don’t have a crystal ball.

This is where Yabu and I went to high-school, we’re both in this video, but we weren’t in the band…we had swords. We both ran the mail-room, so we were smugglers, I guess. Smuggling beats the shit out of playing a Tuba, and the girls think you are cooler. I’ll bet we can still break down an M1 Garand in the dark, and reassemble it. Good times back then.

Yabu ain’t right. Fact.

I’ve already voted, so I’m heading back over for election day. I’m certain we’ll be staying up late…probably put a small pig on early TUE morning and cook it slow until the polls close….but you never know.

Scanning old photos is a good thing…means I can embarrass him anytime I want.